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(¯`·._.·Adara·._.·´¯)March 27 When did this happen?I think i'll do what Shannon suggesested and do a weekly update since I have gotten so far behind on this thing.
Ok so since my last few entries have been about guys I really don't mind keeping up on that subject since I am so pissed right now. You know what?! I think all men are cheaters, yep I really do. Sorry guys but there is nothing you can say to change the way I feel about you now. Lets see scenerio #1 Guy moves in behind me, see's me playing my guitar one day and tells me he will give me free lessons. Yay right? NOT One week later he emails me telling me how he has this thing for me and how we should totally do it since I work from home and it would be oh so daring. ( oh yeah by the way he lives with girlfriend). BZZZZZZZZZZ he is out the door. Ok on to scenerio #2 My other married neighbor who by the way is married to the woman who I tell everything to, decides this last year to start making rude and obscene comments to me because he thinks we "are cool like that" ( I guess thats what he thinks since he is making them) I am torn between telling his wife or turning bright red and asking him to stop! Alrighty then sceneiro #3 This guy who I really liked comes over telling me to PLEASE let him show me how he isnt like all these men out here in this crazy world, so yeah I got a little sidtracked and all especially after we kissed. Ok but thats besides the point, I wouldnt have kissed his stupid butt if I would have known like 2 days later he was gonna be with his ex and oh yeah a week later be with another girl. Can you see the Jerk file getting bigger and bigger? Ok then so you think im done? um no I think not, so lets see guy #4, we meet, he is freshly out of another relationship, so I tell him I am really weary about getting close to him because I am smart and know what a rebound is all about. Does this stop him from pushin harder and harder to be with me? Nope, he just brings the same ol bull about letting him be the one to show me how different he is. And oh yeah by the way he tells me how hard is life is and blah blah this and how I am the only one who has made him feel happy in a long time. Ok so he slowly creeps his way into my feelings. Then Friday night comes along and he asks if he can take us out to dinner. I told him that I had a school function and I would call him afterwards. I call, and no answer... Oh well, so Sat comes I call , no answer. Whatever i'm not gonna deal with this crap so on Sun night I just message him telling him he is right he isnt like other guys because then men I know would have some balls to tell me they didnt wanna talk. Fast foward to today and I get a message telling me what a a** I am because he went out of town for a funeral. hmmmmmmmm Ok, so maybe he did. Yeah so I do a little more research and find out he was with his ex girlfriend all weekend long. WTFREAK! ok see yep ALL MEN are scum right now. And people keep saying Jenn why are single? You have these guys who wanna date you........... Sorry no thanks they can freakin prey on thier next chick of the week. A bitter mood = a bitter blog. Anyway besides all of that all is well and I had the greatest time this weekend! February 21 Lifes good nowWell not much to write about but that life is going good. Nothing bad, nothing great, just sailing. I've finally joined the masses and realized I am the most confusing single women out there. I dont know if I want this or that. Nothing makes me feel content, and if im being honest the only time I was like WOW was when I was seeing "J"= Joshua. You know the whole summer thing. Which reminds me he is coming home for spring break, he is such a flirt I cant take it! teasing me with his visit home. To bad I feel like i'm robbing the craddle with him or else he might just be worried for his trips home........ jk. OK so anyway its my daughters 3rd bday tomorrow! this is crazy, first Dominic turns 7 and now Adriana 3!! Before I know it they will both me in middle and hisghschool and Ill probably still be living the single life all dazed and confused. Well i'm off to yoga then work.............
Thats my new roomate y'all. February 16 Its contagiousI think we all got bit by the " tired of updating our blogs on a daily basis" bug......
Anyway I do have some things to write about. Lets see............ Well Ben is still around and still very persistant. I don't know why but being a girlfriend terrifies me. Its bittersweet because I want to be with someone yet I am way to selfish with my time to be with someone. I've made that abundently clear but he just doesnt seem to care! So ok my ex is weird, he messged Ben to tell him that I am good women who deserves to be happy......... is that weird to anyone else but me? I think so but hey whatever I will soak it up while it last because tomorrow im sure he'll start hating me again.
My roomate is awesome, we have WAYYYY more in common then Ms. you know who.....Brrrr its a frigid one here in the Mile High.... it snowed alot and I cant believe they didnt cancel school. I am one big priss though when it comes to snow driving. Hey you can pass me if you want just dont freakin hit my truck please!!!!!! I think i'll pass on shoveling today, I always do it and im boycotting it this time. HOA can come help a sista out. February 07 Slow baby slowWhen it comes to men I like to take things really slow. I feel bad sometimes for making them work so hard, but dang I think they should have to work some huh? I just dont know what I did to deserve all this attention at once, but with Ben he is so sincere and looks at me with his peircing blue eyes. Oh it drives me crazy. Thats one thing I should have sensed with Dominick, he was all TALK like a true playa. haha I laugh how I got swept off with his words. You know what? Men like that disgust me, they want to be happy for themselves no matter who they step on to be happy. Ben lives like 30 min away and he always drives up here to see me, last night he was having a horrible night and asked if he could see me. I was speechless because I would have thought he would want to be alone, but he wanted to see me. Anyway it was sweet to say the least. Guess you had to be there. Its just weird to start back up with him again, like we both grew so much and its like all this time we were bound to meet up again. Nevermind I am confusing myself here, but he is all up in my head.....
February 02 Much needed updateOK so wow I have alot of things going on. Ill make it simple.
1. My roomate was into taking nude pics in my house with strange men , going out with new men nightly, emailing the guy I liked and telling him to meet her instead of me.
2. My roomate is now GONE! I can't even believe there are little girls like here out here in this world, I must be naive or something.
3. I no longer go out with Dominick, we went out last week and had a blast but he is definitly not a boyfriend type. He wants to be but he doesnt have what I need, so I think you won't be hearing much more about that.
4. Now enters Ben ( the very 1st guy I went out with after my ex left) Very sweet guy we just met at a really bad time last year. He has always checked up on me for the last year and has been very persistant to be my friend. I finally agreed to meet up with him tonight since I dont have the kids. I always liked him but thought he was a lost cause. Who knows I just liked hangin out with him last year because he is really easy going and never a dull moment.
Lesson learned, never let questionable people move in with you and ALWAYS trust your gut instinct if you think the guy who says he is sooo into is merely all full of words.
ps.... My really good friend coincedently was looking for a place to stay so she is moving in soon, I love that girl.. She is a recently single christian girl my age and I know we can totally help eachother.
January 27 Tag, i'm it..
January 25 dont worryI guess I didnt really cave in, I saw him once and I just decided he is wayyy to much work for me. It shouldnt be this much work already. So yeah I guess you can say I gave him the B double o T. Im sure there will be more to write because he thinks its fate we came back in eachothers life, but im done! ok so wow now if I ever date anyone else I will feel really trashy, but i really dont date, I swear! January 22 .....Ok so now that its been a week since my hospital visit I feel 100% better. Although I finally decided it is time to start taking some meds for my anxiety. I am a little aprehensive about that but its time I start doing something, if not for me, then for my kids. For the last 2 weeks Dominck has been so persistant and wont stop calling or asking to see me. I have been strong for 2 weeks but I finally caved in last night. What can I say but that now I am going really really slow, but its too late he already has a part of me that I dont wanna lose. So he messed up, but now I know what to look for and trust me I dont take that stuff lightly. So anyway back to my meds, the Dr put me on Lexapro and it takes 3 weeks to even work, I feel so nervous about being on drugs but I am SOOO sick of being afriad of every little thing. These pills taste like crap, if I could only grow up and swallow them like a big girl, but NOO i gotta be all difficult and crush them and take them like a baby. But seriously ughhh they are sick! January 18 updateIm sorry I have no energy to respond to everyone... But i will say that I need lots of prayers, my anxiety kinda had a relapse on Sun not to mention how sick i was. ewww. but anyway I need prayer and lots of them... My kids are my world and I cry to think that they saw thier mother in a panic.... but dont worry today is the first day i feel somewhat normal. it can only get up from here. god bless and thanks for checkin in on me. I am going to need alot of support the next few weeks so please dont forget me. love you January 17 ERJust an update I spent the night before last all night in the ER. I slept all day yesterday and all night. I am barely waking up put of this daze.... Anyway keep me in prayer because I do feel much better but you never know if its gonna come back again. Thanks for the comments I love you guys~Jenn January 11 hmmmWell lets see, today im at work, I feel like crap... I hope I didnt catch whatever my daughter had because she was sick for over a week! My aunts having a baby shower here on saturday so I really cant afford to be sick right now. I'm kinda confused because my brother did this painting of me and Dominick was always begging me to give it to him.. So I did as a surprize and he was really happy, but now im having second thoughts because I really liked that painting. And my brother told me to just give it to him that I should be flattered he even wanted it. I was totally jacked up and in our little fight I asked for it back, how immature is that! I had to take that comment back but anyway I still wonder if I should have givin that to him. I just reread all of this and it makes no sense really, but oh well..... January 08 so cheesyHere he is my dream man! If you find him or know him please tell him im here waiting to be his queen....
 January 07 and she's down againWell its midnight, I have gotten like a total of 30 mins of sleep between 8pm and now.. My daughters been sick, I am freakin dead broke. I need to work overtime but where the heck am I gonna find a sitter to do that. My ex wont help only God knows why considering he doesnt even have a job... What a winner Jenn, woohoo! Last night Adriana was up till 4:30 getting sick, I cant afford to miss work so this whole thing is taxing on me. I hate seeing her sick, I hate feeling like a working zombie and I HATE that my ex wont help me untill he heard that Dominick was gonna come by with some pedialyte. And then what the heck is my problem, I push Dominick away because Id rather be misrible all alone... and they say misery loves company. All I really want is to know my mom and dad are right around the corner, but they are not... I feel alone, I feel tired and I feel like life sucks right now. January 05 Finally!I am still trying to conquer this anxiety thing so I can be a fun girlfreind, a fun mom, sister, friend...etc. God has blessed me so much the last 2 days. I was SERIOULSY beyond broke, I was wondering what I was gonna feed these kids, yeah we always have food to eat but we were gettin to the point where we were eating all the stuff in the cuboards that always get pushed away.. know what i mean? and then last night my roomate said someone pulled up and in came my grandma with a warm dinner all made up for us. She didnt even call she just made it and thought of us. I was so grateful, then she came this morning with some groceries. God always provide for me and my children. I am blessed. January 02 Being replaced sucks even when done by a LOSERK now that im private and only available to a handful im gonna be the real Jenn! I am soo over my ex but it urks me beyond belief that he is with his ex girlfriend... The girl who tortured my marriage in the first place... Wouldnt he want a WOMAN who is motherly, who doesnt party every night??? We are like night and day , she is everything i'm not... Did I mention straight out of highschool? Anyway it pisses me off that I am even writting about it.. ughh...
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